Reprogram the subconsciousYou can reprogram the subconscious. The key to being able to practice staying in the present is to release the energy stuck in the negative subconscious programs from the past.

Being present allows you to become the observer of your behaviour, to interrupt the subconscious dialogue that you are so used to listening to, and override the power the subconscious has over you. It means you have vital energy available to focus on the here and now.

Your power lies here in the present. Being in the present gives you choice, instead of being a puppet where your past conditioned programming is pulling the strings. As soon as you begin to experience change by making choices in the present, you start to let go of the power those childhood fears have had over you. Instead you begin to realise your true potential and strength.

It is my belief and experience, that subconscious change gives you the ability to think, behave and perceive is new ways, and that this is the most creative work anyone can do.

 

Psych-K Willpower

 

Psych-K puts us in touch with energy that is stuck in the past. Psych-K balances free this energy, so that it can be used to aid our determination and drive to be present, be creative, and move forward in life.

The power of your Will. This is defined by your ability to choose and control your own actions and behaviours, and be able to follow through your conscious decisions with restraint or with boldness.

Conscious factors affecting energy supply for Willpower. Willpower uses a lot of energy and this energy depletes quickly. There are certain conscious factors which cause this decrease, for example; emotional distress, the unfamiliar and fear of the unknown, negative thoughts around difficulty, and cognitive dissonance where what we are doing or saying contradicts our actual beliefs.

Subconscious factors affecting energy supply for Willpower. We can look at the subconscious and through Psych-K balances increase our energy for Willpower.

As fragile vulnerable children we work out subconsciously how to make sure we have value to the people around us so that they will take care of us. This is an extremely intelligent way to ensure our survival, and as humans we all do it. However, there is a flip side to this. What we deem not having value, or those parts of us that might lead to rejection we subconsciously repress and disconnect from.

The energy consumed by our subconscious in its determination to control our value and worth and maintain this disconnection, is huge.

Psych-K is about us becoming whole. It is about helping us accept the parts of us we have subconsciously repressed and disconnected from. With Psych- K we take the subconscious need to disconnect from our childhood programming, and make it conscious. We become aware of what we are repressing, and move our subconscious beliefs with Psych-K balances towards beliefs that the whole of us has value. Not just the parts that we perceived as being acceptable as children.

From survival to quality of life. Essentially Psych-K balances move us from being stuck in survival mode requiring energy to stay on survival alert, to quality of life. Through Psych-K balances around acceptance and unconditional kindness we become connected, and no longer need to use stale energy to control our disconnection.

By having a healthy relationship and ability to feel all our emotions and embrace the whole of who we are, including the parts we may not like, we can let feelings and emotions surface and move through us, instead of attaching fear of our survival to them.  When we are connected and whole, we have vital life-giving energy at our disposal, in the present, and there to give our Willpower a huge boost when needed.

We change our perceptions. Along with self-connection Psych-k also enables us to change our perception consciously and subconsciously, around how we approach something that appears difficult, trying something new, fear of change etc. We can create positive subconscious beliefs that support us reaching our goals.

In conclusion If we want to be able to live our lives being who we want to be, we need Willpower and lots of it.  Psych-K makes changes in the subconscious so this can happen. If energy stays locked in our childhood history, we remain in survival mode and are unable to access the energy. This doesn’t mean we can’t make changes in our life or find the necessary Willpower, but it may be harder and a lot more time consuming without the subconscious and self-connection helping to fuel it.

Related links:

How childhood experiences effect the whole brain state

How Psych-K works video 

Psych-K being present and whole brained 

A Psych-K private session

Gives you space to discover the fundamental fears that are causing negative patterns in your behaviour and thinking patterns. You are guided within the Psych-K private session to uncover these fears, and once discovered, be able to shed a lifetimes worth of negative patterning.

This gives you the opportunity to do the real work required for personal growth, because you are able to invest your energy to live life in new ways, make different choices, take more risks and set new boundaries. Within these sessions I also provide you with personalised crucial tools for you to take away with you, so that you can empower yourself to keep going with your personal growth independently.

Personal growth – meeting your challenges

Psych-K private sessions are not a quick fix hack for personal growth. Quick fixes tend to fall apart and results are unsustainable.  Solid personal growth is comprised of step by step building blocks, and what choices you make with every step. This leads to confidence and self-esteem.

Personal growth cannot be about perfecting our lives and becoming attached to the outcomes of goals. Not all goals are meant to be reached and dark times are part of life. It is our approach to such times that is paramount to how fearless and empowered we feel. It’s fair to say we will never like such challenges, but to be able to say yes to them, and know that whatever they are you can get through them, is priceless.

Transformation

The work in a Psych-K private session with me is about the transformation from avoidance of feeling fearful, to having the energy and resilience to deal with the grit of real life. I work with clients to get the momentum for change going, to see clients no longer be afraid of life, but to embrace all it offers.

Psych-K private sessions provide the basis for you to move away from the time warp of childhood, with its limiting energy, and to initiate the practice of being present step by step, where you can make changes and transformation in each moment.

Private PSYCH-K sessions

 

Related links:

The importance of being present in a whole brain state

What is a Psych-K balance

How childhood experiences affect the whole brain state

Scientific validation of the whole brain state after a Psych-K balance

Split brain research on  ‘brain dominance theory’ indicates that the two hemispheres in the brain specialise and preside over different functions. They process different kinds of information and deal with different kinds of problems.

 

 

The left hemisphere is thinking, sequential, linear, logical and analytical. The right hemisphere is intuitive, abstract, big picture, creative and emotion. When these two hemispheres communicate with each other, we have input from both of them, creating a balanced cognitive and emotional whole brain state.

Importance of whole brain state

When we have input from both sides of the brain simultaneously, we are able to have more options available to us in how we perceive and respond to current situations. Being whole brained means we have the ability to pause and respond, to be proactive rather than reactive, and to then be able to make new better choices and decisions

When we are doing this we are able to interrupt a situation/thought in our direct experience from triggering old sub conscious behaviour patterns formed in our childhood

This means we prevent any previous experiences held in our subconscious from attaching to and giving context to the experience we are having in the moment.

Between the two hemispheres is tissue called the corpus callosum. The more whole brained we are ( ie the more the two hemispheres ‘talk’ to each other), the more the corpus callosum softens. This softening then further increases the ability and ease for the two hemispheres to communicate. The whole brain state enables us to stay present and consciously aware. And so being present becomes a comfortable resting place for the brain.

When we are present, as well as providing super learning and high speed sub conscious belief change, the whole brain state provides beneficial changes in blood flow in brain and brain chemistry, reduced stress, increased energy and enhanced creativity and problem solving skills

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My greatest challenge in life was to go from being stuck in the past, to being present and truly empowered. Psych-K enabled me to jump start this process and create the practice of showing up fully in the present. This has allowed me to reinvent myself and be exactly who I want to be, instead of reacting to life with old negative subconscious patterns.

What does being present and whole brained mean

To be present is a practice that involves consciously recognising when we are experiencing or behaving in a way we don’t want to be, and to intervene with these negative subconscious patterns. This creates an autonomous power because we are in control and able to choose far more beneficial new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.

When we do this practice, we are detaching from old negative behaviour patterns and moving into the Now. On a physiological level this is where our brains go into a whole brain state. The more we practice this the easier it is for the left and right hemispheres in our brains to have a balanced relationship with each other.

Why does Psych-K help us be present

Psych-K is the tool to help us make the practice of being present much easier. This is because being present requires energy. The Psych-K balances generate new energy by creating a whole brain state transforming negative subconscious beliefs into positive subconscious beliefs.

This new revitalised energy created in the positive beliefs is now available for the practice of being present. This is where we are empowered and no matter what arises in our immediate experience, we have the control to choose how we want to respond.

Maintaining the positive outcomes from Psych-K balances

The sub conscious is a lot more powerful than the conscious mind. However, we cannot or DO NOT need to change ALL the negative beliefs we may have. All that is usually required is to transform KEY negative beliefs through the Psych-K balances. This then creates the initial flow of new positive energy. The more we practice being present and the more we stimulate a whole brain state the more we increasing feel empowered and confident.  It is this that maintains the drive to continue moving forward and to continue to constantly create new energy in the present.

Many clients have found that after usually only a few sessions they have freed enough of their own energy and power to start seeing the very positive results of being present.

Related links:

What does it mean to be whole brained 

What is a Psych-K balance

How childhood experiences affect the whole brain state

 

We are born with the natural ability to be in a whole brain state, unfortunately  it is all too easy to lose this balance during our childhood.

The brain hemispheres go out of balance when a traumatic or negative experience triggers a dominance of one hemisphere over the other because we are too overwhelmed to process it properly.  As fragile children we are very prone to feel overwhelmed and threatened. As life goes on and similar feelings come up the dominant hemisphere continues to have authority in regard to the emotion. We then perceive the experience through that one hemisphere.

For example, as a child we can have an experience which we perceived as feeling abandoned which overwhelmed us. For example, a mother being late picking up her child. This can be interpreted by a child as a traumatic event where by they feel vulnerable and abandoned. Because of the intensity of the experience we do not fully process the emotion with both hemispheres in the brain and therefore not able to be logical and have reason. Later on when another experience triggers a similar emotion, the right hemisphere will dominate. It will respond to the current experience but with the original context in which the emotion was first felt. Without the left hemisphere we cannot bring any logic in to balance that emotion and put it in the context of the now.

Once out of balance we lose the ability to be in the optimal state of consciousness – to be fully present. When we are not present, we are living life from old negative subconscious patterns.

The more we practice being present by pausing before responding instead of just reacting, the more the corpus collosum tissue between the hemispheres softens and the two hemispheres automatically talk to each other returning us to a whole brain state which is where we truly belong.  Psych-K provides the pathway to being present.

Related links:

What does it mean to be whole brained 

What is a psych-k balance

A Psych-K balance is a process which creates balance between the left and right hemispheres in the brain. During Psych-K balances neuronal exchanges occur between the hemispheres, creating a whole brain state.

When there is coherence between the two hemispheres a super learning state is created, allowing the instant download of new data, and the reprogramming of out of date negative subconscious beliefs. In this super learning state we create the subconscious beliefs we want to have, in order to live the life we want to have as adults.

Psych-K balances unlock negative energy that has been stuck in the past, to create new energy. When we are in a whole brain state with our past beliefs it makes it much easier to let go of the past. The potential in this new energy is available to activate new small conscious actions to move forward, and to create the results and changes that you want to achieve.

Producing this new energy also makes it much easier for the brain to practice being present in a whole brain state. which is where our real power comes from.

Scientific validation of the whole brain state after a Psych-K balance

The neuroscience relating to Psych-K process has been made clearer by brain mapping

Brain mapping is a proven scientific method that measures brainwave patterns and converts the EEG data into visual pattern. Patterns from before and after a Psych-K balances have been compared to each other. The results show that fter a Psych-K balance there are significant shifts in hemispheric coherence patterns, establishing a whole brain state.

For more information on the clinical study of brain mapping and Psych-K see NeuroConnections Fall 2011

Related links:

Psych-K – being present and whole brained

Bruce Lipton – programming your subconscious 

A difficult childhood can shape our lives and personalities

We all perceive things differently. If we perceived that we were hurt or misunderstood or humiliated in some way, then such an experience can trigger our ego and subconscious to need to protect ourselves. As we grow up we may do whatever it takes to never be hurt again. Or, if we are hurt by someone, to lash out and make sure that person gets hurt right back.

What does self protection look like? 

There is an endless list of ways we protect ourselves when we are coming from fear.  Anger, shutting down, depression (turning anger inwards), being inflexible so there is no chance to ever feel out of control and exposed, fear of intimacy, lack of self worth (so we never reach our full potential and can blame our parents for that), addictions, holding on to grudges, always having to be right. The list goes on…..people who need to self protect are vulnerable and when we are vulnerable we do whatever it takes to not feel it.

My experience of self protection

I became anorexic which for most part, was an illness in which I tried to have some control over my life because my parents were extremely controlling. I needed to protect myself (see: A letter to parents of an anorexic child}. It was an illness where my voice was my body, and it showed a clear picture of despair. However, I recovered and carried on with life. But still through a lens of needing to keep a safeguard around myself.  So instead of having anorexia, amongst many things I was angry, rigid and had a desperate need to always be right .

Moving forward

Not content with being like this (I never felt I was truly enjoying this so called ‘wonderful’ life experience) I found myself heading in a personal development/spiritual direction. This brought an awareness of understanding that one of the things I needed to do was forgive my parents. This seemed very unreasonable, given that I felt I was emotionally abused as a child. However, with the help of Psych-K I made sure that my subconscious was positive to this being the right way forward. In doing this, Psych-K also addressed any other negativity held in my subconscious  relating to how I saw my childhood. It turned the negativity and any resistance to change into positive beliefs. This then made it much easier for me to consciously start looking at things from my parents perspective. I learnt to appreciate that they were coming from love and they showed it in the only way they knew how.  I realised that they couldn’t have given me what I needed because they didn’t have the knowledge or tools to act any differently. For whatever their reasons, they were stuck.

Once I had done this my mind quite reasonably thought great that’s that ticked off the personal development list. I had a much better relationship with them and I was feeling a bit better about myself. But I was only on the outskirts of the forgiveness journey. Unconsciously I had started a journey on becoming more congruent with my soul and it wasn’t going to stop there.

Transformation time

I went back to London to visit my parents and found myself rummaging around my old room. This in itself was unusual as I hadn’t had any interest in doing this for about 20 years.  I went through old photos, school books, letters, and then I came across a diary from when I was 9 yrs old.  As I opened it I thought it would be filled with darkness and negativity because that was my recollection of my childhood. But something happened while I read it….. A grief poured over me and I cried my heart out.

The diary was filled with sweetness …nothing but sweetness. I saw in every page a child who saw the world with amazing gentleness, positivity, warmth and kindness. My tears were my grieving for the  person I had once been. A person I had completely forgotten. I cried and mourned for having lost what was once a wonderful open heart. I had let go of her and replaced her with someone who feared life.  I never realised till then that the negative thoughts and feelings I had lived with for so long were so opposite to my true nature.

So it had taken me so many years to get here, but in that one moment I reclaimed that sweet girl.  It felt extremely vulnerable doing this because what I was actually doing was dismantling a world which I felt protected me and instead letting my heart open again and be exposed.

How did forgiving myself change life

Real forgiveness gives freedom. Freedom to love myself unconditionally so I can now love others unconditionally. Because I know that if someone or something hurts me I may be upset in the moment but I will never again allow myself to become someone I don’t want to be. I no longer judge anyone and compassion comes easily to me because I have also been someone who has come from darkness and fear.

There is no doubt in my mind that the happiness and lightness I feel now is because one of the things I was meant to learn in this lifetime was forgiveness. I appreciate my parents for the part they played in this. They gave me the opportunity to learn this lesson and I am beyond grateful for that. Yes it hurt on a human level but on a soul level it was perfect. And it took a diary to break me …… and I have gratitude for that too!

Read in Quora

EVER SINCE HE SAW DISNEY’S animated classic Fantasia as a young boy, Rob Williams has dreamed of being a magician. Now, a half-century later, he might just have become one. Williams doesn’t use magic to clean the kitchen, like Mickey Mouse does in Fantasia. He cleans something far more
important: the subconscious, which drives most of our behavior and experience.

Read the full article here

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Dear Parent

I am writing this letter because I want you to know there is hope and help for you and your child.

I know that as parents we want to do the best we can for our children and to help them, especially if they are suffering. It is easy for us to feel helpless, frustrated and heart broken when a child is ill, especially with such a self-sabotaging illness such as anorexia.

I am reaching out to you because I know anorexia inside out. I suffered from it when I was 15 years old and I fully recovered. I now specialise in this area. I am writing to you because I want to reassure you that there is support for you and your child, and that they can make a full recovery from this illness.

The Traditional Approach

Any support and help that you are currently giving to your child is to be commended.

One of the more traditional approaches usually taken is cognitive psychotherapy. This is a talking therapy using the conscious mind. This type of therapy provides a safe, non-judgemental environment, for your child to talk openly if they chose to, and can provide an emotional crutch.

Eating and weight gain is also usually looked at as a part of a treatment programme. When weight is dangerously low it becomes a necessity to put pressure on an anorexic to eat and at times be force fed. However, when weight loss is not at a life-threatening level I would suggest there are limitations to focusing too much on the eating and weight gain. Anorexics are terrified of eating and so to focus on what is already terrifying them may do more harm than good. It can cause them to feel further disempowered. I have seen numerous anorexics put on weight when forced to eat, but only to lose it when left to be responsible for their own diet.

To speed up any therapy towards recovery, to optimise chances of success, and ensure lasting results, I believe the role of the subconscious needs to be addressed.

The Power of the Subconscious

We have two minds, our subconscious and our conscious mind. The subconscious is by far the more powerful of the two. It is downloaded and programmed in the first six years of our life and it makes up 95% of our behaviour. This mind runs on automatic mode. It is like a tape recorder churning out the same programmes day in and day out. The conscious mind makes up the remaining 5%. This is our creative mind. We are aware of what our conscious mind is doing and thinking, however it is only operating 5% of the time. Therefore, the subconscious mind is much more powerful.

Unfortunately, any negative programming that is downloaded into the subconscious can trigger problems for us. In the case of anorexia these negative beliefs are extreme. Not only are such beliefs self-sabotaging but in the case of this type of illness it appears that positive beliefs are in short supply and not able to balance out the negative beliefs. This makes it easy for the destructive behavioural programming to take over.

I know that for me my limiting subconscious beliefs related around feeling unworthy. Then experiences in my life through my conscious mind – which I perceived as proof that I was unworthy – triggered emotions of fear and guilt, and focused on my weight and eating.

Changing Negative Programming

It is my view that to gain long term positive gains when treating anorexia, the negative subconscious beliefs need to be addressed, as part of the process to a full recovery.

Once the beliefs that are at the core of the illness are determined they can then be transformed into positive beliefs. This is where recovery is made. The blockages and fears to moving forward are removed. The positive subconscious will then be supporting an individual to not only get better but to move forward in life positively and with confidence.

If underlying beliefs are not dealt with, sufferers of anorexia can find themselves ‘recovering’ from the symptoms of the illness but still not fully recovered. It may be they find other less obvious ways to self-sabotage. Or they may feel the need to overly control other parts of their life. They may become obsessive about exercising. All of these behaviours are signs that their inner turmoil has not been remedied.

Why I Got Better and Never Went Back

I consider myself extremely lucky that during my illness I worked with a psychiatrist who was not interested in following a conventional approach to treating anorexia. His approach differed in that he was never interested in my diet or weight, even when my weight plummeted. What he did do was have a lot of patience and a belief that I could and would learn to trust and empower myself to turn the illness around at a subconscious level.

These subconscious changes happened when I hit rock bottom and had to pull myself out on my own. I had to use my conscious mind to overcome the sabotaging beliefs of my subconscious. This was not easy because as I have mentioned the conscious mind is far less powerful than the subconscious. It worked for me because it was literally a life or death situation. When push came to shove I may have been quite happy to starve myself but I did not want to die. By being fully conscious at all times during this period – that I wasn’t going to allow myself to die – I consciously overpowered the self-sabotaging beliefs. This in turn empowered me and I believe the reason why I made a full recovery and never slipped back.

This was an extremely challenging journey for my healing and thankfully there are now alternative and much easier ways to change subconscious beliefs.

The Role of Psych-K

It was later in adulthood that I came across Psych-K. This is the technique I use with children and their parents. I am seeing great success in helping people who are stuck in very difficult emotional and/or physical circumstances, to find the power within themselves to move forward.

Psych-K is a holistic approach encompassing the conscious, subconscious and a client’s own inner wisdom, transforming limiting negative subconscious beliefs into positive ones.

Not only does Psych-K help someone with their recovery process, it enables recovery to come more quickly. It also continues working after recovery. This is because there is a huge amount of personal growth during and following on, from recovery. The Psych-K process is extremely empowering. The positive changes in beliefs made during the recovery itself, means that a client can then move forward on their own. They are armed with positive subconscious beliefs giving them the ability to deal with and flow through any future life problems.

Psych-K will help guide your child to find empowerment by looking within themselves for answers. This is a tool that they’ll be able to use for the rest of their life. It can be used on its own or to compliment medical treatment. For more information  Link: Making life changes easy

Help For Parents

In order to be the best parent you can be for your child when they are going through anorexia, it is extremely important to be able to cope and look after yourself.

It is important to have your own boundaries securely in place which will help you to not only be more objective, but also able to maintain healthy coping mechanisms when dealing with your child. Creating boundaries also ensures that you still have time and energy for your other children and family members, who may be caught up in the emotional turmoil or can sometimes be pushed aside because there are not enough emotional resources to go around.

Stress and fear are two prevalent emotions that parents suffer from when their child is unwell. These emotions only serve to distort your thoughts and feelings, causing you to feel easily overwhelmed. The stress and fear can become problematic in themselves, overriding the original issue causing them.

Psych-K can help with all of the above. One of its main objectives is to transform stress or fear from a traumatic situation. By doing this it is much easier to be objective.

Hope Moving Forward

Please do not lose hope if your child is suffering with anorexia.  Although I allowed anorexia to rob me of my teenage years, I look back on it with gratitude. It was the journey I was supposed to have and learn from. I have learnt to let my determination work for me rather than against me. I have learnt to be able to choose to have compassion and forgiveness for myself, and others. And I have learnt to choose to see myself as totally worthy of a great life.

As parents we want to help our children as much as possible. Sometimes this can mean that while we offer them our unconditional love, we also need to stand back and allow them to find their own way.

A child with anorexia (or any eating disorder), or with any negative beliefs that lead to stress in their lives, can free themselves of these issues, simply by changing their negative belief patterns and realising they have the power to make positive choices.

Yours,

Emma Middleweek
Turn Your Corner

 

 

Disclaimer The Psych-K process is strictly limited to the modification of beliefs. It’s purpose is to engage the mind/body’s natural self-healing process in order to compliment, not replace, medical treatment and medical care by qualified medical practitioners. The Psych-K process is not designed to diagnose medical conditions.

 

It is easy for us to have fixed beliefs and views about what’s right and wrong in our lives and the world at large. And some of us often find ourselves getting frustrated when people don’t see things our way.

Our perspectives on life come from our experiences growing up. And it is human nature to stay with the beliefs that we have become accustomed to. Even if sometimes they do not serve us well, we still prefer to hold on to them rather than change the way we look at something. We tend to be fearful of change which makes it one of the hardest things for human nature to do.

However we are on this planet to learn and grow, and one of the best ways to do this is by giving ourselves permission to be open and appreciative to different perspectives. This is because it takes us from a position of judgement I am right and you are wrong to one of acceptance. When we judge others we are seeing ourselves as better than them, and the reason we need to do this is so that we can feel better about ourselves.

The explanation for this is to do with self acceptance and the ability to love ourselves unconditionally. We need to accept both our positive and shadow characteristics (warts and all) and love them …unconditionally. When we do not have the ability to do this we are not in a position to accept others.

If we cannot accept ourselves then we look outside ourselves for acceptance. When we are needing someone to agree with our views, what we are really saying is if I can get you to agree with me, then it will make me feel justified being me and that makes me feel ok. If we don’t succeed in winning someone over, then we either dig our heels in even more and try even harder to make our thoughts and feelings the right ones, or we dismiss the person and their views altogether. Neither is a win for us because we just get a buildup of frustration, intolerance of others, and fear from finding ourselves in situations we are unable to control.

None of this matters when we learn self acceptance, because self acceptance enables us to be ok with ourselves. If something doesn’t fit into our world it no longer needs to feel like a threat to us because we are already feeling empowered. We are no longer coming from fear and feeling we need to justify ourselves. When someone doesn’t see life our way we can be in a position of being open, interested and grateful to them, because we know we can adopt that view if it makes more sense than our own.

The main point here is that we cannot control the minds and thoughts of others. We can however strive to be in a position where we have the power within ourselves to be able to choose how we react and feel in such situations, and to see differences not as threats, but as opportunities.

Emma Middleweek

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In our society the prevailing thought is that loving ourselves unconditionally is wrong, because it resonates with being self centred and self absorbed. The truth is that in order to love others unconditionally we must firstly love ourselves unconditionally.

When we love ourselves unconditionally we have to accept everything about ourselves, both the good and the bad traits. We hide the traits we hope nobody knows about us, sometimes even from ourselves. But why is it so important to embrace the whole of us? The answer is quite straight forward. If we are able to accept everything about ourselves, it brings us peace of mind. We are in balance within ourselves. It is this balanced energy which is picked up on by those around us, and this helps the ones we love to feel good about themselves too.

When we are born we possess all the traits that exist. However we are then shaped during our early years because we are told by everyone around us, either deliberately or subliminally, how we should behave and what we must do or not do. This is where the imbalance begins. Also, this shaping by those guiding us, can be interpreted by us, that in order to be loved we must ‘be a certain way’. If we interpret this as unconditional love towards us, then it is unlikely we are able to know unconditional love towards ourselves. The question is how do we love the parts of ourselves that we have been told, as we grew up, we mustn’t be like? How do we even remember what these traits are, when they are buried deep in our subconscious?

The first question can be answered by changing our subconscious beliefs and perspective on these traits. The new perspective is based on us appreciating that any trait deemed ‘wrong’ about us, has in some shape, form or context something good about it. By seeing a trait as something to love rather than fear we are preventing it from festering within us. Any trait given the right circumstances /context can be a good thing for us. By acknowledging this we bring it into balance and are able to use it wisely.

To answer the second question there is a relatively easy way to know what the disowned traits are. If there is a characteristic that repels us in someone else, you can be sure it will be a part of your personality you conveniently buried. The other person repels us because we do not want to see this part of them in ourselves. If we didn’t have a problem with it, we would not be in a position to even recognize it. Whatever that trait is, it needs to be not only owned by you, but also recognized for what it can positively offer you. Psych-K helps us change these subconscious beliefs quickly. Once this is done don’t be surprised to find that tolerance of the other person comes more easily!

As humans we have developed an ego. This ego wants to protect us from the traits we have pushed away. The stronger we deny them, the stronger the ego becomes. The problem is the traits do not go away. For example, someone showing extreme self absorption and being totally in love with themselves, should not to be mistaken for someone who loves themselves unconditionally. Because in this case their ego, is fiercely protecting them against any part of themselves that may be seen as unlovable. It is constantly fighting the fear of these unlovable characteristics being discovered, and over compensates with self absorption.

The energy required by our psyche to keep unwanted traits buried is huge even though we are not necessarily conscious of it. And the more we bury the traits the more pressure builds up. The traits we fear carry a much lower frequency then those we show love. (Love is the highest frequency which is why it makes us feel lighter and happier!) As there is no balance here, there is no harmony or peace of mind. The outlet for this building pressure, can come for instance with drugs, alcohol, gambling etc. They give a temporary escapism from our ego needing to be in control. When we are in balance, there is no pressure build up, so there is nothing to escape from. Why would you need to escape from loving yourself unconditionally when you are accepting that every trait you possess is ok?

It is worth also looking at people who cant find anything to love about themselves. They seem stuck in their ‘negative’ traits. Here the imbalance is just the other way round. Positive traits have been forgotten or maybe they were brought up to believe they never even existed. It is easy to see why someone would then think of themselves as unworthy of, or even recognize, their positive characteristics. It can be just as difficult to embrace buried positive traits as indeed so called negative ones. Again the ego is protecting itself. It sees any change as something to fear. Again there is a pressure build up from imbalance, and a release is required.

By shifting our perspective and subconscious beliefs in this area, our ego relaxes and we can accept ourselves without fear. I hope this has helped to show that if we are not balanced, we should focus on fixing ourselves, before fixing others. We are of the most benefit to those we truly love, by letting them know we are ok with every part of ourselves, and that they can be too!

Emma Middleweek

 

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Spirituality means different things to different people. I grew up with the perception that to be spiritual meant going around in long flowing clothes, being in perfect harmony with life at all times, and being the most wonderful kind person that ever lived. However this didn’t seem particularly tangible for me. Life felt a bit tough during my childhood and I was firmly in a victim, negative mindset. My academic background lay in the sciences and my thoughts were always black and white. Life was life, death was death and there you have it. However I embraced spirituality without meaning to.

Einstein laid down the foundation for modern quantum mechanics and the progression of science into quantum physics. Quantum physics (study of quanta — small units that make up energy in order to scientifically understand how the universe works) looks at the invisible energy called ‘the field’, and the vibrations in this field. Quantum physics looks at this field from a physics viewpoint but the field can also be seen as the spiritual field.

*Bruce Lipton is a pioneer in epigenetics. Epigenetics dictates that each and every cell membrane responds to environmental signals. Each one of us has our own unique signal and these ‘self receptors’ on the cell membrane, pick up the vibration in the field that is unique to us. For example, if you were to take someone else’s cells with their own self receptors on their own membrane, eg in a transplant operation, they are rejected by the other body. Why? Because they do not match the self receptors in the other body and cannot read the frequency that is you and you alone. Advancement in medicine has of course overridden this problem!

An analogy that Bruce uses is to see our body as a television set. The antennae tunes into the energy frequency and plays the programme that is ‘you’ in ‘the field’. If the television breaks down the vibration in ‘the field’ simply carries on vibrating. The television may not be around, but the energy vibration is still there. If another television set comes along and is set to tune into the same frequency it again plays ‘you’ in a new body. I choose to see that my own unique frequency is my soul energy, my spirit. And from this I can take a big leap of faith and understanding that, yes, we are immortal and that we have many lives.

Still a bit sceptical about the whole thing I wanted proof and to experience how this energy vibration with its law of attraction affected my life. The law of attraction says that ‘like energy attracts like energy’. I was carrying around a load of negative beliefs in my subconscious and conscious thoughts and unsurprisingly did indeed keep attracting drama and negativity into my life. The happier I have become and the more I have transformed negative subconscious beliefs into positive ones with Psych-K, the more positive energy I carry. The results are that wonderful positive experiences are frequently showing up in my life as a result. Not only am I attracting positive energy into my life but this energy is helping those around me feel more positive too.

I do not go around in flowing clothes and I am not fanatical about my spirituality. I do however see the bigger picture on a daily basis. This doesn’t mean I go around happy and smiley the whole time, but I have to admit it is most of the time. When situations or people do things which can shock and upset me, the understanding I have of the energy field (spirit) helps me to appreciate that absolutely everything is happening exactly as it should be. I have attracted it into my life and it is happening so that I can bring my attention to it, and I will learn something. Also, I do not supress my emotions. I have to admit I do still let off a bit of steam! The difference is that once expressed I then let it go and move easily forward.

I do know with complete certainty that once I got rid of negative beliefs, once I learnt to forgive myself and others and have compassion, which is all positive energy, that it is this new positive energy which is attracting beautiful things into my life. This is how I know I have found my spirituality and replaced fear with love. I am not just a physical body. In fact this body is temporary. But my unique vibration is not going anywhere. I am simply maturing into an old soul from the lessons I learn on earth.

 

Emma Middleweek

Bruce Lipton Wisdom of your cells

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I specialise in helping people who suffer with eating disorders. I feel it is an area which is overlooked and is put in the ‘too hard’ category. There also seems to be a thought process that once you have an eating disorder you never really recover. I promise you it is not ‘too hard’ and the illness can be overcome.

Anorexia is a subject close to my heart because as a teenager I suffered from it. I worked through the illness and made a complete recovery. This gives me tremendous insight and understanding into eating disorders and I am able to use this to help others make a full recovery too.

I also appreciate how difficult it is for parents with children who have an eating disorder. It is to you that I am reaching out and to let you know there is hope and there are alternative ways to look to recovering  from this illness. If you would like to read more please follow this link to my letter to parents of an Anorexic child.

Emma Middleweek

A few years ago I watched Eva Kor’s U Tube video where she talked about forgiving a Nazi who was in command of the concentration camp where she was imprisoned and experimented on with her identical twin. I have to admit I couldn’t at the time work out why she would even want to do this forgiving, or how.

It is easy to hold on to a grudge and be unforgiving. We can justify hanging on to anger and pain because we feel it protects us and makes us strong. However, holding on to the past makes us feel stuck. Forgiveness is necessary in order to move forward, not only for the people involved but for how we feel about ourselves.

By holding on to pain and anger it quite literally weighs us down. It takes a huge amount of energy to keep these negative emotions alive. The energy in them is at a much lower frequency then any positive emotions we carry. We all experience feeling lighter and more energized when we are in a good mood, than when we feel low. By carrying a heavy weight within us we carry it everywhere, perceive life through it, and share it with everyone. This means letting the people that we are angry with still have power over us.

By understanding where this unforgiving takes us it starts to become very clear that it doesn’t do ourselves or anyone around us any favours. Therefore we should try asking if there is something positive to find in the situation that occurred. We might be upset by how others have acted, but how could we start to change our own reactions to it, rather then want the situation or person to change? Could we appreciate that they have a completely different perspective on what transpired based on their own experiences in life?

Maybe there is a lesson for us to learn from the situation. By appreciating the experience from a bigger more spiritual picture, it is possible to see things more objectively. I know this worked for me. I had to forgive my parents for what I had perceived to be a difficult childhood. I allowed myself to remove my sceptical views about universal energy and I began to see things from a soul’s perspective. I have come to believe that the soul incarnates in order to have a human experience. In order to incarnate, the high energy vibrations of the soul have to become much lower. It is up to us as humans to learn, grow, and gain enlightenment, thereby raising our vibrations. By looking at it this way, perhaps an experience which has hurt us is the exact path that our soul intended for us, because we have a lot we can learn from it. We can of course choose not to learn anything. Then we remain in low vibration mode carrying it with us, and feeling like a victim. Our life will keep giving us chances to learn from similar situations and it is up to us if we want to reinforce the victim mentality, or become empowered and move on.

As for the people who we feel are hurting us, everyone has a different perspective or story to tell. They have their own journey from which to learn. Maybe they are not ready to learn anything and only want to stick to what they already know. Maybe they are too frightened to try and see things differently. The point is that we can only change our thoughts and feelings, nobody else’s. The other person will only do that when and if they are ready to. Here then is the lesson of finding acceptance, patience and compassion for others.

The other way to look at it is that by not forgiving we are actually holding on to a means to punish someone and feel as if we have power over them. In truth, they are the ones who still having power over us. Do we really want to use not forgiving as a weapon? Do we really want it defining us? If we don’t, then we must choose to be compassionate and to forgive both ourselves and others.

By understanding what forgiveness has to teach us and then allowing ourselves to let go of pain, we gain freedom, empowerment and wisdom. The freedom is from letting go of the low vibration emotions. The empowerment is by knowing that we can make different choices as to how we feel and react to something, rather than seeing ourselves as a victim having something done to us. The wisdom comes from seeing what we have learnt and how we have grown from doing this, and responding differently to future situations.

The benefits of learning forgiveness help with future scenarios. There are always going to be people and circumstances that have potential to upset us. Yes it’s ok to be angry at them. But it’s also worth trying to pause and see the bigger picture (at times I agree that this is very hard to do). By detaching a little and asking ourselves if there is something we can learn here, we can look at it both objectively and with compassion, instead of needing to protect ourselves. Then we are able to move on more quickly from it.

Now I understand Eva Kor – she shows compassion and acceptance both for what she went through and for herself. She has the wisdom to know that she doesn’t have to carry the burden of Auschwitz with her anymore. She’d survived Auschwitz and now she wants the rest of her life free of it. In Eva’s words “I was no longer a prisoner of Auschwitz, nor was I a prisoner of my tragic past.”

Emma Middleweek

Eva Kor – Survivor of the Holocaust and Nazi Experiments on Twins

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